A different point of view
by Lynx Traveller
Summary: How did Nightwings death affect the rest of the crew? (Part of the Journeyman saga)


Disclaimer:  
  
Anything in this fic that belongs to Hasbro is still their property, but everything else is all mine.  
  
The Masterians are out there somewhere, and they also own themselves.  
  
This fic was never originally intended to be part of the Journeyman saga, the next four parts are complete and are awaiting final touches, but I just felt like writing this out last night.  
  
I'm pretty crap at writing sad and mellow, so bear with me, the next parts will be ready shortly.  
  
Rift-wing…  
  
That voice! It was so vivid that I was completely shocked; it seemed to be within my own head, I felt like I'd been hit with a hammer.  
  
A vision flashed into my mind. It was so sharp, so bright, it was as if I were experiencing it for myself.  
  
I was so stunned that it took me several cycles to register what I'd just seen.  
  
Nightwing was standing next to a large spherical object, energon blade raised over his head. There was a blinding flash of light.  
  
"What the?? Look! It's blowing up from this inside!"  
  
I barely heard the voice in my comm. as I was beginning to realise what my vision meant.  
  
Nightwing was dead…  
  
"Nightwing!"  
  
I scanned all radio channels calling desperately for him, not wanting to admit what I already knew.  
  
"Banshee, Brigand, either of you seen Nightwing??"  
  
The concussion wave from the One blew over me. I was tossed around, but I was still too dazed to realise it.  
  
"Not a sign." I heard Brigand clicking through his own comm. channels, "Nightwing? It's Brigand, report in."  
  
"All fighters return to the ship."  
  
I called Nightwing several more times in desperation, before heading back to the hangars.  
  
"Hey, did you here? There were no casualties!"  
  
The comment from two members of number three wing filled me with hope that I already knew was false.  
  
"Captain, have you seen Nightwing?"  
  
"No, but I'm sure that he's about."  
  
It was about two mega-cycles later when they finally found him; he was drifting amongst the expanding debris cloud of the One.  
  
I was sitting on my recharge platform, just staring blankly at the wall. I still couldn't comprehend that he was gone.  
  
The scene had played over in my mind constantly, despite my desperately wishing that it would stop.  
  
Rift-wing…  
  
I also saw several things that I couldn't make sense of; Nightwing was standing in a black place talking to Optimus Prime.  
  
It was almost as if I could see into his very thoughts. Even as I desperately tried to stop it, I realised that he'd sacrificed himself to save all the rest of us.  
  
To save me.  
  
Nightwing was gone.  
  
It was my fault.  
  
Gone.  
  
I heaved a massive sob, it felt as if someone was pressing on my spark, trying to squeeze it out of it's casing.  
  
I never even got to tell you how I felt.  
  
Why did you have to do it?  
  
Dead…  
  
My fault…  
  
Why??  
  
I heard the door chime. I didn't look up even when whoever it was rang again, before finally pushing the door open.  
  
"Rift-wing, I…"  
  
"Please, just go away."  
  
"I know that nothing that I can say will lessen the pain, but Nightwing was part of the crew. I've lost many crewmembers before, and I can tell you that it never stops hurting, but it's always easier to share grief."  
  
I looked up at the Captain silhouetted in the light of the corridor.  
  
"Please, just go."  
  
The captain paused, as if she was about to say more, then just nodded, before turning to leave, on the way out, she set the door on auto-lock and turned the door chime off.  
  
I was always too shy to tell you how I really felt; did you feel the same way??  
  
Someone had once told me that it was basic instinct to desire the things that we can't have, I know that it's selfish, but now that Nightwing's gone I…  
  
If I could just have one chance to tell you how I felt.  
  
You died so that I could live, but it's over for you, the rest of us have to live one with the pain, I don't know which is the greater curse.  
  
You should have just let me die, you were always more important to the mission that I was.  
  
I absently realised that I was clutching something in my hands.  
  
It was the energon blade that Nightwing had been teaching me to use.  
  
Would never teach again.  
  
Nightwing I. I loved you…  
  
I activated the blade; Nightwing had taken such care to adjust it specifically for me.  
  
I deactivated it and clutched it to my chest. For a long time, all I could do was lean back and sob.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------  
  
Everyone was pretty down in the corridors; it seemed as if the melancholy attitude had spread to everyone, even the one's that had never even met him. It was strange; the death of one had affected everyone this badly but if many had died, then it probably wouldn't be this way.  
  
Maybe knowing that despite all the odds, everyone survived except Nightwing made it that much harder to bear.  
  
I walked sombrely into the bar. I was starving, but I'd nearly passed out before I became aware of the fact.  
  
My friends were all in our usual corner, the sight of four where there had once been five hit me with a new wave of grief.  
  
Krshyyyk was singing a low-pitched dirge deep in his throat; it seemed to set the mood off just nicely.  
  
Brigand was holding his head in his hands, periodically shaking with a repressed sob. Banshee looked distant and was muttering something to himself. Lynx was absently drawing in a pile of spilt energon granules from brigand's stim-caff.  
  
Nightwings place was just empty.  
  
"Hey guys."  
  
"Oh, hi."  
  
I sat down in my usual place. None of us spoke for a long while, the only sound was Krshyyyk's requiem.  
  
"I can't believe he's really gone." I nodded at the statement.  
  
Banshee slammed his fist down on the table, making the rest of us jump.  
  
"Primus! What would Nightwing say if he saw us all like this? He died with honour befitting a warrior; it is all any of us could hope for. He's certainly earned his final resting place in the Pit."  
  
With that, he angrily pushed the table forward, standing up.  
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
"Flying. I can't take all this slagging gloomy stuff anymore."  
  
"You heard what the captain said about no one's to go flying until we're out of the nebula."  
  
"Shove her."  
  
With that, he angrily strode out of the room.  
  
Creep. But he's right; Nightwing would not appreciate us mourning him like this.  
  
Then why can't I help it??"  
  
Mirage just let out a long drawn-out howl.  
  
I hadn't wanted to see him, but the captain suggested that I at least say goodbye.  
  
He looked so peaceful lying there on the dais in the cargo hold. Even though I knew his spark was extinguished, I couldn't help getting the impression that he was just going to wake up any moment.  
  
Normally it was thought very perverse to keep the mortal remains of deceased bots around, but there were too many bad memories from the nebula, so the proper molecular incineration wouldn't take place until we were clear of it.  
  
"Nightwing, I'm sorry that I never got to tell you how I felt, and I don't know how I'm going to go on knowing that you died without knowing how 'I' felt."  
  
"Trust me, he knew."  
  
Lynx was standing in the doorway; all traces of his usual carefree attitude had been replaced by a weary gloominess.  
  
He walked up beside the dais, before bowing his head in a respectful gesture. He looked back up at me.  
  
"I really have no idea how to tell you how sorry I am that it had to be this way, I guess that every race deals with death in their own way."  
  
"How does you race deal with it?"  
  
Lynx took a long sigh, before looking reflectively distant.  
  
"Whether it's our abilities, or something to do with the high-energy field of our planet is unknown, but there's at least some truth to the old tale that cat's have nine lives, at least it is with us."  
  
"Generally speaking, Masterians are immortal, it's much the same as what I've heard about you guys; we can be killed, but we will live indefinitely until that happens. However, when a Masterian is mortally wounded, before they actually die, the body undergoes intense regeneration. This can happen eight times after birth, but to a Masterian life is so valued that to lose one is the worst thing that can happen. After the eighth time the body disappears completely. There are no mortal remains, so I guess that it's a bit different from you guys there. But when a Masterian dies for the final time, all Masterians can feel it."  
  
"When a spark is extinguished, the universe weeps."  
  
"Something like that, I guess that we're not really that different after all."  
  
Lynx stretched out a hand over Nightwing's spark case, keeping it just off the surface, he closed his eyes, and seemed to be concentrating on something.  
  
"I wonder…"  
  
"Hmmm???"  
  
"I gotta go."  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------  
  
I was back in my room when I heard a knock on the door.  
  
"It's unlocked."  
  
The door quietly opened, and the captain walked in.  
  
"How're you doing?"  
  
"Better I guess."  
  
The captain sat down next to me on my recharge platform.  
  
"Did Nightwing make this for you?"  
  
I looked to see that the captain had picked up my energon blade from the table where I'd set it aside. I nodded.  
  
The captain activated it and took a gentle swing.  
  
"You know how to use it?"  
  
"Nightwing was showing me how."  
  
"I've heard that it's a difficult weapon to master, but this one doesn't seem as unwieldily as most that I've seen."  
  
"Nightwing calibrated specifically for me."  
  
The captain switched it off and put it back on the table.  
  
"I'd read in his bio that he was a master with weaponry, but I guess that I never really realised just how remarkable his skills were until…"  
  
"Yeah, I know."  
  
"You do realise that he saved the ship, saved all of us, don't you?"  
  
I nodded.  
  
"There's no way that I can tell you this without getting your hopes up, but the real reason that I came here was to tell you that Lynx came to me just before. He says that there's a slim chance that he can get Nightwing back to us."  
  
I practically leapt off the bed.  
  
"Really! But how??"  
  
"I said not to get your hopes up, he doesn't think that it will work, but he felt he owed it to all of us to at least try."  
  
"Try what?"  
  
"Amongst his people, there is an ancient ritual which has the potential to return someone from their final resting place, but it's dangerous; it rarely ever works, and it usually requires many people to complete it."  
  
"And Nightwing's the only other one who could help."  
  
"Something like that, he's not too sure that he can pull it off, but if it works then we'll have Nightwing back amongst the living."  
  
"Yeah, but we risk losing two instead of just one."  
  
"I know. That's why I've let the choice fall entirely to him. It isn't our call to make, but I thought that you might want to know, I know that you two were pretty close."  
  
I nodded, "Thanks for that."  
  
As the door opened to let the captain out, I caught a glimpse of Lynx waiting in the corridor.  
  
For a brief moment, we looked into each other's eyes, and I could see in that split second that he'd finally made up his mind.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------  
  
We hadn't told many others, but I'd felt that Brigand and Banshee at least deserved to know. Krshyyyk was with us, but Banshee was again out flying, despite a direct order personally to stay with the ship.  
  
I couldn't really blame him, if this didn't work…  
  
Lynx was sitting on the dais next to Nightwing, he had several small crystals placed around the two of them; they glowed a faint bluish, like energon, but they also had an amber tinge to them.  
  
Lynx looked like he was in deep concentration. He'd been like this now for almost seven mega-cycles.  
  
Most of the others had come and gone in that time, but I was the only one that had stayed, just sitting on the cold floor of the converted docking bay, staring quietly.  
  
Lynx had given a general run-down of the procedure before he'd begun; it was known as the Rite of Khetan, but it hadn't been performed in many millennia. Lynx wasn't even sure if he had the procedure down completely, but as it was mostly just supreme concentration and channelling, he felt that his should be able to get it pretty close.  
  
The captain and Brigand walked back into the room. I was very mildly disappointed that Banshee wasn't amongst them; although I hated everything about him, he was still for some reason one of the team; it didn't feel right that he wasn't there.  
  
Gradually the lights dimmed; it wasn't planned, but Lynx had explained that there was a possibility the procedure might interfere with some things.  
  
Almost as gradually the crystals surrounding the two begin to glow more vividly; their colour turning from a sapphire blue to an intense azure hue.  
  
Lynx started chanting, I guessed mostly just to sharpen his concentration. Mirage let out a barely audible whimper; we'd worried if his presence might disrupt Lynx, but it was felt that the more people that cared for Nightwing that were present, the easier it would be to get him back.  
  
The glow from the stones intensified to an almost unbearable level; even though our bodies were insulated against electrical surges and all but the most intense radiation, even I could feel a tingling around my spark.  
  
The light from the stones seemed to solidify in a dome around the two, before shrinking down into a thin shell conforming around Lynx and Nightwing.  
  
The chanting grew louder as Lynx extended a hand out over Nightwing's spark case, a ball of the blue light seemed to form between his hand and the armour plating.  
  
The voice was in all our heads; the magic field was so intense that it was beginning to affect us as well.  
  
I could hear in my mind Lynx desperately calling Nightwing.  
  
Just then I got a glimpse of what could only be the Pit; it appeared to be a scene from Cybertron during the Golden Age. There were sparks everywhere; I got the feeling of intense relaxation.  
  
"Nightwing."  
  
Just then I saw him; an emerald green spark with stripes of lighter blue giving a marbled pattern.  
  
Even as I watched I could see a third colour beginning to appear; lightning streaks of the same magical azure colour were beginning to trace over the surface.  
  
"Go away, I'm comfortable here."  
  
Nightwings voice stunned me at first after not hearing it for so long that it took a while to realise what he'd said.  
  
He was comfortable in his final resting place.  
  
He didn't want to come back.  
  
Lynx called again, this time there was an air of urgency to his voice as a second life force seemed to be materialising next to the first.  
  
It was Lynx' life force; he was dying, being pulled into the Pit.  
  
"Nightwing!"  
  
Please Nightwing, come back to us.  
  
Again I heard the sleepy-sounding voice in my head.  
  
"Alright, alright! I'm coming."  
  
A wave of immense relief washed over me at the last statement, but something felt wrong even as the scene of the Pit faded from view.  
  
Lynx was slumped over Nightwings body, barely alive.  
  
"Quick! Get him out of there and up to the infirmary."  
  
Brigand and the captain both helped to carry the unconscious form of the cat up to the medical facility that had been set up for the organic creatures. Krshyyyk and Mirage followed them out, leaving me alone.  
  
I tentatively approached the platform where the glowing crystals were slowly fading.  
  
Nightwing didn't look any different, but even I could tell that his spark was back where it belonged, but he still seemed to be in a very deep coma.  
  
But the important thing was that he was alive.  
  
"Nightwing, I don't know if you can hear me, but I'm not going to go another cycle without letting you know how I feel."  
  
"Nightwing, even before we left the Academy, I've had feelings for you, but even I never knew how deep they were. Nightwing, I love you with all my spark. When you died I had no idea how I would cope, but now that you're back with us."  
  
I couldn't continue as a mixture of relief and emotions hit me like a wave, all I could do was rest my head on Nightwings chest and let it all out.  
  
Nightwing…  
  
Whenever sang my songs  
  
On the stage, on my own  
  
Whenever said my words  
  
Wishing they would be heard  
  
I saw you smiling at me  
  
Was it real or just my fantasy?  
  
You'd always be there in the corner  
  
Of this tiny little bar  
  
   
  
My last night here for you  
  
Same old songs, just once more  
  
My last night here with you?  
  
Maybe yes, maybe no  
  
I kind of liked it your way  
  
How you shyly placed your eyes on me  
  
Oh, did you ever know  
  
That I had mine on you?  
  
   
  
Darling, so there you are  
  
With that look on your face  
  
As if you're never hurt  
  
As if you're never down  
  
Shall I be the one for you?  
  
Who pinches you softly but sure  
  
If frown is shown then  
  
I will know that you are no dreamer  
  
   
  
So let me come to you  
  
Close as I want to be  
  
Close enough for me  
  
To feel your heart beating fast  
  
And stay there as I whisper  
  
How I love your peaceful eyes on me  
  
Did you ever know  
  
That I had mine on you?  
  
   
  
Darling, so share with me  
  
Your love if you have enough  
  
Your tears if you're holding back  
  
Or pain if that's what it is  
  
How can I let you know  
  
I'm more than the dress and the voice  
  
Just reach me out then  
  
You will know that you're not dreaming  
  
   
  
Darling, so there you are  
  
With that look on your face  
  
As if you're never hurt  
  
As if you're never down  
  
Shall I be the one for you  
  
Who pinches you softly but sure  
  
If frown is shown then I will know  
  
that you are no dreamer  
  
"Eyes on Me", Final Fantasy VIII 


End file.
